· Dating is hard enough, those awkward first dates, those heart-wrenching break ups. Now add a chronic illness, and poof! Dating seems like a wild idea. Sometimes we can’t fully Online dating has become increasingly common. It offers many benefits, such as allowing people to meet others they may not otherwise meet and even matching individuals with similar I have AVN & bad Neuropathy. Plus I had an arthroscopy for a torn meniscus today. My med dose & pain levels are the same. That means that on most days my legs have surgery levels of · “There was much chat about a dating app for sufferers and why there was nothing like it in the market.” Download Gutsy Dating for free from iTunes and Google Play. 2. Pain is an unpleasant sensory and (or) emotional experience typically associated with physical damage to the body. Chronic pain is when the pain lasts longer than 3 months. Sometimes Missing: online dating ... read more
Do you have any suggestions on how to help someone with chronic pain, but through online? Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email. I agree. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam.
Learn how your comment data is processed. Top Posts. Why Does Our Culture React So Negatively to The Best Foods That Help Manage Eczema. Why We Need More Books Published That Talk My 7 Steps For Coping With a Chronic What Cerebral palsy awareness month means to me Hyperhidrosis and The Realities of Living with Excessive Home Cerebral Palsy Dating with Chronic Pain: Long Distance Love.
Cerebral Palsy Chronic Pain Dating with Chronic Illness. written by TheUnchargeables July 13, Looking for connection online? About the Author Jessica is a blogger, disability activist, writer, poet, and podcast host. Share this: Tweet. Print Share on Tumblr Email. Cerebral Palsy dating online dating. TheUnchargeables The Unchargeables is an online chronic illness support group.
previous post. next post. You may also like. A Guide to Coping With Shoulder Pain June 24, Five Activities That Are Difficult When Living February 13, The Side Effects Of Having Fun When July 15, My Sister Is Fighting An Invisible Monster June 13, Chronic Illness Stole Everything? Lock Up the May 21, Expert Advice on Battling Arthritis Pain March 30, Even if you just want to get together and play board games, see if there's a game store or coffee shop where you can go instead.
Parks can be nice, too, if the weather is good and you don't have to walk too far. There's always the old standby of dinner and a movie, which doesn't take a lot of energy. If you have food sensitivities, though, you should choose or recommend a couple of places where you know you can be accommodated.
Another place where honesty comes in is setting the pace of the relationship. If you're with someone who runs you ragged, it's not going to last for very long. If you can't handle going out once or twice a week, be upfront about that. Look for people who are interested in quiet evenings at home, or whatever it is that you feel you're up to.
You need to set the pace about the physical side of the relationship, as well. While it may have a few therapeutic effects, sex takes a lot of energy.
Make sure your partner knows what is possible for you and that there may be trade-offs—you may need to choose between going out to dinner and having sex if you don't have the energy for both. You may worry that you're not able to handle much of a sex life at all. It may be that you can rebuild your sex life to accommodate your symptoms.
It may be that sex is just too much for you, and that's okay. Online dating can be a bonus here as well since you could search for people who are asexual or who are looking for companionship without a physical relationship.
They do exist! And if you aren't well enough to go out on dates but you want someone to talk to? There are other people out there looking for the same thing. Are you likely to build a profile proclaiming your chronic illness and have dozens of potential suitors messaging you every hour?
Expect it to take some time. Expect to find some real jerks along the way. It's about finding a diamond, though, not a pile of rocks. Once you find someone with potential, it takes time to get to know them and to forge a relationship. A foundation of honesty and trust can help you get off on the right foot. By Adrienne Dellwo Adrienne Dellwo is an experienced journalist who was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and has written extensively on the topic.
Living With. By Adrienne Dellwo. Adrienne Dellwo. Adrienne Dellwo is an experienced journalist who was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and has written extensively on the topic. Learn about our editorial process. Fact checked Verywell Health content is rigorously reviewed by a team of qualified and experienced fact checkers. Fact checkers review articles for factual accuracy, relevance, and timeliness. We rely on the most current and reputable sources, which are cited in the text and listed at the bottom of each article.
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Let's face it, dating is hard and even more so when you're dealing with a chronic illness. But things can work out so long as you don't go into it blind! And yes, a part of this includes telling your date about your health condition. So, let's start at the beginning and that means asking yourself whether you're ready to get out there Before even thinking about dating, you should find yourself agreeing with the following four statements:.
I'm dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it. Okay, you're ready to jump into the crazy world of dating, so now what? Well, before filling up your calendar with potential male or female suitors, you should have a clear idea of the type of qualities to look for in a mate.
Surely, you want a partner, NOT a caregiver, right? So, here goes…. One of the best ways to find dates is while participating in group activities you normally enjoy like wine tasting, volunteering or hiking.
Check out Meetup. com to find events near you. Another idea is to get involved with support groups, fundraisers and activist movements related to your chronic illness. And then we come to the world of online dating. There are now dozens of prominent dating websites that cater to people with various disabilities and chronic illnesses such as:.
When everyone suffers from the same health condition as you, dating becomes less awkward and stressful since everything's already out in the open! You can also look at popular dating websites like Match and OkCupid but they come with an asterisk. On one hand, you have access to a much bigger database of potential dates than a chronic illness-specific website. On the other hand, you're competing against lots of people who aren't afflicted with a chronic health condition.
Still, it's definitely worth a try. Your date needs to know about your big secret at some point, right? So, when do you drop the bomb? Well, everyone seems to have a different opinion and it goes something like this So, what's the right answer? Well, there isn't one. It depends entirely on the date and how you feel at the time. Don't feel obligated to share such a sensitive and personal part of your life if you're not ready yet. Let your illness come up naturally well, as natural as a discussion about a chronic illness can be anyway and when you feel comfortable.
But there's one exception and that's if personal information about you living with a chronic illness is already out on the internet. Unfortunately, there's no easy way to tell your date about your chronic illness. I mean, how do you mention your daily routine of popping more pills than a small tub of popcorn minus the fake butter and spending nights curled up in an ice-cold bathtub administering "reverse lattes" street slang for coffee enemas like it's as ordinary as walking your dog?
Answer: you can't. So, you might as well go with the "there's something I need to tell you" line. Now, you probably already have practice telling others about your chronic illness so it should come easily to you. But in case you need some guidance, here are some topics to cover…. Just don't go overboard with details or throw in terminology only you and your doctor would understand. Keep it simple, straight-forward and non-emotional. Let your date steer the direction of the conversation once you tell your story.
Even if your health condition is serious, take a light-hearted approach to give the impression that you don't walk around with a huge chip on your shoulder. And you never know, your candidness could prompt your date to reveal something personal too which can help you feel more comfortable. But don't be disappointed if your date clams up. If it doesn't work out, don't worry about it because obviously the two of you weren't meant to be together.
Be patient, live your life and with perseverance Mr. Walking around with a pebble in your shoe probably sounds more appealing than having to explain a chronic illness to your date but it's something you have to do, right? Once you get it over with, you'll have an easier time following these tips Of course, you want to be the fun-loving date but don't engage in activities guaranteed to flare-up symptoms.
If the thought of hand gliding, swing dancing or apple picking make you want to curl up in a ball, don't do them! Many chronically ill people have a limited number of spoons to last the day, so make sure to make good use of them. Obviously, canceling a date isn't ideal but sometimes it's your only option especially when symptoms take a turn for the worse which can happen at any moment, right? Just make sure to express your sincerest apologies and mention how much you'd like to reschedule the date.
If your date doesn't accommodate you or makes endless excuses, move on. Keep in mind, rejection is a natural and unfortunately crappy part of dating with or without a chronic illness! Dating isn't easy but I'm sure you already know that. But if you're strong enough to cope with your illness, you certainly can handle whatever challenges dating throws at you.
Have you started dating while having a chronic illness? What's your experience been like? Leave your comments below! Please remember that Lyme is definitely sexually transmittable. My husband and I found out the hard way that condoms are useless at least against my Morgellons infection Bartonella flavor of Lyme. His health returned after vigorous 2 months doxy regimen. And no sex since. Awesome post about chronic illness and dating. It is very crucial as you stated that you need to agree with the statements before embarking on a relationship.
Many people forget about this and that is why relationships fail. I know a couple of people that this actually happened to. I have a lot of friends who would be interested in this article. I have sent them this to read as well. Great article! I strongly agree that when it comes to dating, being honest is the best way to go.
Timing is everything after all! Thank you for such a wonderful article. Having grown up with somebody having a chronic illness, I know some of the daily struggles sufferers can go through.
I also know how frustrating it can be for sufferers to find themselves defined by their illness. I know plenty of people who will be very greatful for that! Hi, I really like the way this article highlights all the emotional levels of readiness when it comes to dating. Your website is a good read and your reverse latte joke made me laugh out loud!
REALLY GREAT article! I forget there are people in this position, so much of the Chronic Illness community I am in touch with are older and married or divorced. REALLY something for people to think about, both for the one sick and the one who is not! It is only fair to both of you.
Thank you again for this and partying at Chronic Friday Linkup! Hi Kristine, thanks for your lovely comment! You are doing a great service for so many people. It would break my heart when their illness would convince them they should push away.
Hi Jennifer, thanks for commenting! Glad you find it helpful! What a powerful website topic. I really enjoyed reading your blog! Where did you do your research or is this based off of personal experience? Either way I really enjoyed reading it and believe it can help a lot of people. I worked in healthcare for 21 years and have met plenty of people who would benefit from reading this. Hi Stephen, Have to say I was pleasantly surprised with your website and how well-rounded it is.
Online dating has become increasingly common. It offers many benefits, such as allowing people to meet others they may not otherwise meet and even matching individuals with similar · “There was much chat about a dating app for sufferers and why there was nothing like it in the market.” Download Gutsy Dating for free from iTunes and Google Play. 2. · Dating is hard enough, those awkward first dates, those heart-wrenching break ups. Now add a chronic illness, and poof! Dating seems like a wild idea. Sometimes we can’t fully Pain is an unpleasant sensory and (or) emotional experience typically associated with physical damage to the body. Chronic pain is when the pain lasts longer than 3 months. Sometimes Missing: online dating I have AVN & bad Neuropathy. Plus I had an arthroscopy for a torn meniscus today. My med dose & pain levels are the same. That means that on most days my legs have surgery levels of ... read more
SEE MORE. Thank you Joshua. And the brief collision with a total stranger, I was grateful for that too. Five Activities That Are Difficult When Living Let them get to know you, with healthy boundaries set in place. Let the focus be on your date — You're unloading some pretty heavy stuff about yourself and you need to counter it by highlighting your assets. Manage Choices Accept.How could we possibly meet a new love interest? I agree. Conversations 2. Glad you find it helpful! So, here goes… Your date should be:. Tweet 0. It sounds obvious but it's still worth mentioning.